you don't need a perfect body to be sexy

"There's nothing sexier than a woman who's comfortable in her own skin and happy with herself" - James Deen.

u must have been wondering who the fook is james deen. he is one of the most reliable person to comment on women's beauty whatnot. because so far he has been with 6000 individual tities and 3000 vaginas. no he is not an Obstetrician nor Gynaecologist. not even close to. he is just a star. not the regular star, but a PORNstar.

well i stumbled upon this article 'James Deen on what makes women good in bed' on one of the news i followed on twitter. he became a pornstar when he was 18. n it was his ambition to become a pornstar since he was in primary school. no it's not his biography that is any of my concern here, i just want to highlight the things he said in an interview that i hope will help some women out there who's suffering from inferiority complex disorder.

women are naturally concern with their bodies and how they look. some believe that being skinny is the exact definition of sexiness while some prefer to have extra kgs on their body. but little did women realize that none of them matters as long as they are comfortable with how their body looks which is quite a myth. a 'sane' woman will never ever feel comfortable with her body. that's why plastic surgeons are making quite a good money nowadays. and that explains why some women have gone extra miles taking risks just to be beautiful. well if u haven't heard a woman was being injected cement into her buttock by a fake doctor, google might be of a little help here.

being beautiful is not all about how u look on the outside, it's more like how u carry yourself in front of others. because if u're not happy with your body then how do you expect others to accept your body? the greatest style a woman can wear is confident yada yada yada. we've heard it so many times but very few of us are actually doing it. because most of the time, we feel so insecure about ourselves that we are unable to see things beyond that. we keep lamenting on our less appealing features instead of flaunting those best features endowed. to me, this type of person will never manage to pull it off even if they already have 99% perfection in them.

there's more to life than the external beauty. trust me, woman will never go under the knives if they have their loved ones who are happy with the way they look. who have never once tried to change anything on the girl's body. i've seen some average-looking women who are so confident with their extra bumps just because they have a very loving and supportive significant other, who never fails to make their woman feels beautiful just by appreciating them in their lives. and telling them how pretty they'll look with just anything. so to the women out there, if u are still unhappy with ur body, i'm sorry to say that u are actually yet to discover your mr right. if he really loves u, he'll never want to change what's already yours, he's in love with you no matter how awful u look *especially on waking up*, and he'll still see u the same even without ur make up on. well if not, that's okay. at the moment, u can have fun with your 'mr right now'. to guys, love ur woman not because of her external beauty. cz no matter how beautiful u think she was when u first met, the feeling will never be the same when u two live together.

here's the link. read more if u want to know what he said. but do have a little imagination while reading for better understanding. LOL

http://www.thefrisky.com/2010-06-14/porn-star-james-deen-on-what-makes-a-woman-good-in-bed/

yeah fuck that hormone

im seriously not in the mood of anything. there are times in your life when you feel so low and fucked up and u had enough with all the people around you and mine happened just now. i have friends all around yet i feel so lonely, i have boyfriend(s) virtually by my side yet i dont feel loved. i have so many things to be done but i do nothing about it. i dont wanna do anything i just want to sit and stare into the nothingness playing with my thoughts thinking about what i am going to think one after another.

this is the time when i think that im just a lifeless bitch and that i need something to feel alive again. something that tells me that i can still feel what i wanted to feel. it is this time that i'll become rambunctious as fuck and insensitive to what others feel and think about me. and surely i wont give a fuck about your social norms or any other limitations u have set for me.

dont remind me how fucked up my life is. my silence dont mean nothing. it tells u that the inside of me have been devotedly working to find a solution that will never bear an answer. u have no idea how much i ve been trying to ditch the thoughts away yet they still linger persistently at the back of my head. i got tired of acting cool about all the things being said or done. u might not know a shit but that doesnt matter coz i have always liked it that way.

i am human. we arent perfect. we were born to make mistakes and learn something from it so that we wont do it for the second time. but no, not all of us learn from the mistakes we had done, some man commit the mistakes over and over again coz they have learnt the trick on how to escape from the repercussion of his wrong doing until they get caught. and that's just me.

gawd why am i wailing like a postpartum psychic. this fucking hormone has seriously
taking its toll on me.
COULD YOU JUST GET THE FUCK OUT OF ME YOU FUCKING HORMONE?? !
now please excuse me, i need to do a little thinking again.

jokes that aren't funny

women always love a man with a great sense of humor. that's an unwritten fact i picked somewhere along my way evolving myself into a mature adult woman. i myself would prefer someone funny and fun to be with rather than fucking a seriously serious dude. but BEHOLD and BEWARE guys, not all jokes are considered as funny from a girl's point of view. in addition to your failed attempt tickling her laughing center, u might also get your throat tickled by her feet. and maybe together with a bitch slap or two.

BODY

you can crack any jokes related to her deaf-inducing-laugh or turbo-like fart but trust me u cant do the same to her body figure. worst case scenario, you will get choked by her feet or maybe having her distancing herself for about a week if she's the kind of girl that never get used to merajuk lama2 la. really women are very particular about their body shape. a new fold in front or their abs can really cause a world's health problem to her. and if you are so ignorant to turn that into a joke u'll be a sorry man coz she will never get it.

"hey baby, u dh ade 2 tayar dah kat depan. klu i golekkan u kat bawah ni agak2 boleh x u guling2 macam tenggiling?"

see what i meant?

WEIGHT

weight is the most sacred number in woman's life other than their age. talking about age and body weight, woman usually prefers to keep it secret but if u happen to know these 2 numerical identities, then u must be someone that she trusted most, hence don't ever break it.

"yo ma gf is so fat the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale"

u can try to be a funny ass by cracking a yo' momma joke in front of her if u feel like u have lived enough of your life.

ACNE

normally most women will have one or two eruptions every month due to our cyclical hormonal changes. so fyi gentlemen , acne is not really a teenager's problem coz if u have noticed, pre-menopausal women also faced the same problem. and yes that includes ur momma, your gf's mommah and even the MILFs out there. i do have eruptions every now and then and i admit i hate it when i have to go for a date everytime i have huge pimple(s) on my face. it's because my pimple has a predilection for the center of my forehead and when i talked to people, i felt like they were talking to my pimple rather than to myself. oh maybe my pimple was just trying to be friendly.

anyhow, my point is never ever make a joke out of it. its the "time" of the month and if u happened to have a gf or wife with severe PMS save yourself from getting a tantrum combo. coz everytime my bf tried to be funny like

"can u please put ur headlight on a low beam mode coz i cant stand the glare"

or calling me an ultrawoman for having a full blown reddish acne on my forehead, i was like

"HAHAHA, my god u should go for RAJA LAWAK audition for your incredible sense of humor u know."

and i cant help to feel like banging his head on that steering wheel so he can have that contrecoup effect to reposition his brain.

HERSELF AS A WHOLE

we were born with different features and some woman fell into beautiful category, some in mediocre and some are so-so. but beauty lies in the eye of beholder and my definition of beauty might or might not be the same as yours. u know women felt flattered if u say things like how attractive she is, cute and all and will try as much as they can to make it not obvious to you guys, or tries to deny it sometimes just to make sure you're not trying to be a charmer. but if u say things like

" ur face looked like a moon....LOLOLOLOLOL" or

"hi si dayang senandung~...hihihi....."

like REPEATEDLY hoping that she wont take it personally, u are seriously a terrible joker. u know women still can accept it if u crack it once or twice even if it holds truth in it. but if u have said it for the umpteenth times, even the most beautiful girl would suffer from what we called as insecurity or inferiority complex especially if u are someone who means a world to her.

see guys, women have the most tender heart, no matter how butch she is or how strong she acted in front of u deep inside she still want to be treated with care, love and affection, just like any other fragile woman. it's because women can never acted tough forever. at times she needs someone that she can manja with, talked to for hours to meet her biological needs, yes the fucking hormones. keep this little advice at the back of ur head so the next time u wanna try to be like Russle brand, u have this guide with u. for the time being, go polish ur flirting skill and upgrade your lame pick-up line coz acting monkey doesn't always work all the time.

wanita cantik di sini

lately my ghey meter fluctuates real bad. it's heading to north more often than the south. i spent my time on the net mostly searching for the hot woman apart from FB, FB, and FB, yes of course i am a girl lover. if i were a man i know that i would be a great lover. LOL. alrite without further ado, lets roll at what my favorite girl looks like.

my kind of girl always represents these qualities,

1. tanned skin

because i think fair skinned women are slightly overrated. some people with white complexion doesn't always look good with a dark skin. but if a tanned skin woman manage to grab your attention at the first sight, then she will definitely look beautiful if she were white too. rarely white girl comes with a flawless skin. most of them will have so much freckles over their face and neck. that's another reason why i fancy tanned skin woman.

2. long wavy black hair

i like it black coz it will accentuate a girl's tanned look. it looks healthy too. and long wavy is definitely so much sexier than the super straight ones which gave her a more natural look.

3. fine curves

girl with a right amount of adipose tissue on the right place is always the girl of both dry and wet dreams. while skinny seems friable to hold on to.

4. beautiful teeth

coz it'll look good if paired with a lovely smile on that face. speaking of which, crooked teeth is always a major turn off for me no matter how cute your smile is.

5. pointed nose

i simply love them. might be because i don't have one. HARHAR

and here are the epitome of what i've listed earlier just now.

kim kardashian

her jugs are just amazing. so does her face.

sarah shahi

the real hottie in L word. i love her most when she's gay.LOL

eva mendes

she's just amazingly beautiful

nicole shcherzinger

cant get enough of her well-toned body

vanessa hudgens

my favourite fashion idol

hey beautiful girls, lets have a date. :)

credit : google image.

women are the greatest impostor

when a friend of mine told me that he had lose hope in love because he said that all girls are liar, i was taken aback at his generalization while attempted to defend this venus species. then i realized at some point that i have nothing strong to brought into this argument and i just couldn't agree more with what he said. this is because women are indeed a greatest liar when it comes to their physical appearance.

lets start it off from the head.

1. hair

not all of us u have met so far kept our hair in their original state yes of course u knew that. some are dyed, some are being rebonded and some are getting it curled also. rarely u will find us with a perfect long super straight black silky hair. yes im talking about the mongoloids, if ur girl is a caucasian descendant please ignore this. we were blinded by the shampoo advertorials that tells us everyday girls with smooth silky super straight hair are beautiful while those with frizzy hair doesn't.

sometimes we rather opt for a better deceitful idea by wearing a wig and mind u wigs nowadays are hard to differentiate from the genuine one as some of them are made up of real human hair. now tell me are u certain enough that the woman u are currently going out with isn't bald or have a very limited strands of hair hanging precariously on her head? so guys now u know our very own secret of having a thick and flawless hair.

2. eyes

fake eyelashes are now epidemics. just go to the mall and u can see their ubiquity. wearing fake eyelashes can enhance our look exponentially. say if we have those squinty eyes, falsies cover it up almost successfully particularly those with bushy lashes. now have u ever wondered why rozita cik wan never let those falsies off her eyes? she is actually having a squinted eyes and thus had opt for a much cheaper non surgical method for a cover up. LOL

stunning eyes aren't they?

look at the eyes closely fellas

3. breasts

we know guys always had a thing for breasts and we always tried our best to make it look appealing to your pervertible eyes . but i dun feel like talking about the boob job we've been adopting as the famous breast enhancement trick here, coz we knew it's impossible for u guys to strip our shirt off and lift the breasts just to see the implant's scar to ascertain the D cup originality. you might feel that u were the lucky one for having one of us as with bust like keely hazel as ur gf but little did u know about the simple trick we had put on since your first date with us. come on, get out from that little cocoon of yourself and get to know how underwire and push-up bra works which we presume most guys did a very good homework back then. and did you know that a simple adhesive tape placed on the upper part of the breasts would give our saggy breasts a booblift? what an invention!

4. nipple

did you get sexcited easily everytime u watch a us walking with our nips erected underneath the white shirt? well before u waste that jizz on your pants we suggest u to hold it on for a sec and pat on your back if u are able to do so guys. it's because u had succesfully saved some viable sperms from jerking off to that stick-on nipple prosthesis which gave us that perky look.

cool huh?

5. abs

we didn't use makeup just for the face but also as a mean to fake a toned look of our abs. this is however wont work well on an abs with a size of lorry tyre of course. shading both the sides of our abs can give a slimmer and sexier look. *go youtube it for a proper tutorial ladies and fool the guys all you want*

6. hymen

yes u read it right guys. not only we had sex before u came into our lives, we also have an artificial hymen just to make u feel good about yourself on our first sex. aint that superhuman enough for being able to become a virgin again? if we cant be certain about ur virginity then neither do u. now that's a fair world we live in isn't it..LOL.

marry in confidence, keep your secret.

see the truth? women are really a great impostor. so ladies, next time a guy called u a liar, smile and walk graciously at his compliment coz what he really meant is you are a stunner and he's a fool for trusting u blatantly.


p/s: guys dated the right girl always end up having neurogenic shock in the morning for waking up beside the left girl.

from awful to awesome piglet