wanita cantik di sini

lately my ghey meter fluctuates real bad. it's heading to north more often than the south. i spent my time on the net mostly searching for the hot woman apart from FB, FB, and FB, yes of course i am a girl lover. if i were a man i know that i would be a great lover. LOL. alrite without further ado, lets roll at what my favorite girl looks like.

my kind of girl always represents these qualities,

1. tanned skin

because i think fair skinned women are slightly overrated. some people with white complexion doesn't always look good with a dark skin. but if a tanned skin woman manage to grab your attention at the first sight, then she will definitely look beautiful if she were white too. rarely white girl comes with a flawless skin. most of them will have so much freckles over their face and neck. that's another reason why i fancy tanned skin woman.

2. long wavy black hair

i like it black coz it will accentuate a girl's tanned look. it looks healthy too. and long wavy is definitely so much sexier than the super straight ones which gave her a more natural look.

3. fine curves

girl with a right amount of adipose tissue on the right place is always the girl of both dry and wet dreams. while skinny seems friable to hold on to.

4. beautiful teeth

coz it'll look good if paired with a lovely smile on that face. speaking of which, crooked teeth is always a major turn off for me no matter how cute your smile is.

5. pointed nose

i simply love them. might be because i don't have one. HARHAR

and here are the epitome of what i've listed earlier just now.

kim kardashian

her jugs are just amazing. so does her face.

sarah shahi

the real hottie in L word. i love her most when she's gay.LOL

eva mendes

she's just amazingly beautiful

nicole shcherzinger

cant get enough of her well-toned body

vanessa hudgens

my favourite fashion idol

hey beautiful girls, lets have a date. :)

credit : google image.

branded stuff

i was browsing through a picture tagged by a friend of mine on facebook. it was a handful collection of replica watches of which grade im not sure. if im not mistaken it was from Inda Bain Shoppe something like that. they sell designer's stuff at a rock bottom price and got a discount also, buy 2 items and they rounded it to rm100. they got Guess, Gucci, Chanel and Tag hueier included in their collection. its really a bargain though. but im not here to promote their products and i didn't earn a penny from the above statement, so u can continue reading this. also no nuffnang attached below this post.

i always had a thing for branded stuff when i was still having the teen angst back then. since we were not allowed to wear an avant garde attire in school other than a plain white and blue kurung uniform, the choices for wearing cool branded stuff to school and become the trendsetter was very limited, not to say that i was one back then coz i wasnt. so basically the bags and shoes that you wore were the first thing they used to look at as a yardstick to categorize you into different strata in school. say if you wore branded bags or shoes as in converse *yes they were very popular back then* or a fancy Roxy bag then you are one hella cool fellas. but if u were seen hitching a Swan or Bata bag here and there then you will fall into the kind of people with IQ exceeding their weight. get what i mean? no? congratulations u just became one. LOL

my parents did not practise spoil-the-child-with-lotsa-money type of parenting and earning my very own pocket money is what i did everytime i needed what i want. i did not work nor take a part time job for that but i always had to save the money given by them for the things that i want and buying branded stuff for me needs a lot more than just determination. in the end it felt good as it has taught me the real meaning of satisfaction and self actualization*wtf?* for being able to starve just to have a cool sneakers as my school shoes.

i remember having to incur around rm 200 for a leather Jack Purcell shoes that i wore for merely 2 months as i was obliged to wear a black shoes after moving to a boarding school. it was a total waste and i still have it in my shoe rack which i planned to give it to my lil bro. i also did spend so much on bags, socks and other unnecessary things which were ridiculously overpriced. i realized now that a school age girl should not spend too much or be conscious about how they look just to be like others. i admit that i was one of the victim of mass media advertorials and the product of world's materialism.

the very cause of my bankruptcy

but im glad that i had pass my teen age and learnt from that mistake. i am no longer a person who sees the brand tag as a primary reason for me to buy things neither the one who grabs branded stuff blatantly. i'd rather buy a cheap one who meets my criterion perfectly than having a designer clothing that looks ridiculous on me. and i do not need a designer dress that would costs me my 10-months allowance which i obviously wear once or twice with nobody had any idea about it. im pretty sure some will think that its not about showing it off to other people but more to your ultimate satisfaction for being able to buy and have it on your body but believe me its a total bullshit if u said u dont want other people to know that u are wearing designer's collection after spending almost 10k dollars on it coz im pretty sure even the film stars would want them to be recognized. i have seen my friend bought 400bucks dorothy perkin dress which i think i can get the same damn thing for Rm49.90 at most minus the brand tag. it was so simple and i swear it did look like a maternal wear to me. seriously not a value for money.

i've also learnt how to prioritize my money by not spending it so much on unnecessary things. i am no longer tempted to buy a gadget just because it is the in thing and everyone has it in their pocket. its practicality is what matters to me and now i am surprised to see how it has got me thinking from months to years just to buy a phone with endless list of pros and cons comparing one another i'd made. and now i have successfully become one choosy bitch.

some people really go to the extent of having a branded replica even with hideous designs just to feel good about themselves. i would rather go unnoticed if i were to have a replica stuff with me. frankly speaking, i really have prada and chanel replica handbag with me which i bought 2years back because i was so stupid to fall into their lucrative "branded stuff for sale" tagline held annually at a very convincing place. i should have known that nobody sells Prada handbag for MYR 300 except for a fake one. see i can be fooled easily when u put that "sale" signboard on. i don't wanna be like the MLM arseholes who claimed to have the latest BMW models posing next to a bunch of money scattered on their bed when they obviously have a lot of pending bills to pay. u knew it very well its a borrowed car unless u settled all the bank loan u've made.

for me if you are great in whatever you do and possess that outstanding charisma you don't need branded stuff to enhance your look of feel good about yourself. i believe that the most stylish person is always the one who managed to walk with confidence on anything they put on.


p/s: think i sounded like a person trying to write personal statements for executive job resume. did i?

women are the greatest impostor

when a friend of mine told me that he had lose hope in love because he said that all girls are liar, i was taken aback at his generalization while attempted to defend this venus species. then i realized at some point that i have nothing strong to brought into this argument and i just couldn't agree more with what he said. this is because women are indeed a greatest liar when it comes to their physical appearance.

lets start it off from the head.

1. hair

not all of us u have met so far kept our hair in their original state yes of course u knew that. some are dyed, some are being rebonded and some are getting it curled also. rarely u will find us with a perfect long super straight black silky hair. yes im talking about the mongoloids, if ur girl is a caucasian descendant please ignore this. we were blinded by the shampoo advertorials that tells us everyday girls with smooth silky super straight hair are beautiful while those with frizzy hair doesn't.

sometimes we rather opt for a better deceitful idea by wearing a wig and mind u wigs nowadays are hard to differentiate from the genuine one as some of them are made up of real human hair. now tell me are u certain enough that the woman u are currently going out with isn't bald or have a very limited strands of hair hanging precariously on her head? so guys now u know our very own secret of having a thick and flawless hair.

2. eyes

fake eyelashes are now epidemics. just go to the mall and u can see their ubiquity. wearing fake eyelashes can enhance our look exponentially. say if we have those squinty eyes, falsies cover it up almost successfully particularly those with bushy lashes. now have u ever wondered why rozita cik wan never let those falsies off her eyes? she is actually having a squinted eyes and thus had opt for a much cheaper non surgical method for a cover up. LOL

stunning eyes aren't they?

look at the eyes closely fellas

3. breasts

we know guys always had a thing for breasts and we always tried our best to make it look appealing to your pervertible eyes . but i dun feel like talking about the boob job we've been adopting as the famous breast enhancement trick here, coz we knew it's impossible for u guys to strip our shirt off and lift the breasts just to see the implant's scar to ascertain the D cup originality. you might feel that u were the lucky one for having one of us as with bust like keely hazel as ur gf but little did u know about the simple trick we had put on since your first date with us. come on, get out from that little cocoon of yourself and get to know how underwire and push-up bra works which we presume most guys did a very good homework back then. and did you know that a simple adhesive tape placed on the upper part of the breasts would give our saggy breasts a booblift? what an invention!

4. nipple

did you get sexcited easily everytime u watch a us walking with our nips erected underneath the white shirt? well before u waste that jizz on your pants we suggest u to hold it on for a sec and pat on your back if u are able to do so guys. it's because u had succesfully saved some viable sperms from jerking off to that stick-on nipple prosthesis which gave us that perky look.

cool huh?

5. abs

we didn't use makeup just for the face but also as a mean to fake a toned look of our abs. this is however wont work well on an abs with a size of lorry tyre of course. shading both the sides of our abs can give a slimmer and sexier look. *go youtube it for a proper tutorial ladies and fool the guys all you want*

6. hymen

yes u read it right guys. not only we had sex before u came into our lives, we also have an artificial hymen just to make u feel good about yourself on our first sex. aint that superhuman enough for being able to become a virgin again? if we cant be certain about ur virginity then neither do u. now that's a fair world we live in isn't it..LOL.

marry in confidence, keep your secret.

see the truth? women are really a great impostor. so ladies, next time a guy called u a liar, smile and walk graciously at his compliment coz what he really meant is you are a stunner and he's a fool for trusting u blatantly.


p/s: guys dated the right girl always end up having neurogenic shock in the morning for waking up beside the left girl.

from awful to awesome piglet

zaman sekolah part 2

continue from last post.

ok so sebenarnye i really dunno what happened to cendawan's baju. i just hope she got the message that we were all raging over her hostile attitude. i know that i looked mean enough for treating a decent looking woman like her that way but believe me back then everybody agreed with me unanimously that her attitude and appearance don't walk hand in hand. so that makes me a little less guilty for what i've done.

2. the makcik dewan selera (DS)

i dunno why i always had a bad history with them and establishing a good rapport with them makciks is undeniably my greatest failure . it goes without saying that when u have a good relationship with somebody you'll be the one who get the most benefit out of it. and i always have to be the unlucky one who will never get the excess food into my tummy since all of it will go to the prefect2 dan konco konconya yg mmg baek dgn makcik DS.

therefore in order to make my stomach a happy sac, one more time i have to be a little brainy. DS kitorang salunye mlm2 xlock just die rapatkan pintu je so the seniors had the idea of stealing the food from the DS while the makcik were soundly asleep and asked us to join them. not a great idea though sbb mlm2 there's not much food to munch except the fruits they have left outside for tomorrow's lunch, but ok la kan its better than nothing. that time klu igt balik memang dh mcm beruk2 buas pon ade since we had to climb onto the counter in order to get ourselves into the kitchen and pass the fruits among us out of it. most of the time buah yg ade just pisang and tembikai je and if we're lucky enough we'd get apples or honeydews as habuan. u are allowed to imagine yourself looking at a signboard reading "apes at work" to have a better picture on how we had it all done back then.

but siapa tahu perut xpenah kenal erti malam or siang klu nk lapar. yg die tau die senang hati mknan sentiasa ade, especially during tea time whereas most of the time a piece of pisang goreng or karipap with teh O weren't much of a help to a tummy like mine. sbb lapar punye pasal, kitorang pon terpaksa guna idea jahanam semata mata nk dapatkn extra 2 pieces of karipap or pisang goreng even under makcik DS's supervision.

so tgh2 makcik endon tu sibuk discuss pasal nk balik batam cuti sekolah akn datang, my friend si ayu pon senyap2 curi the kuih from the counter while i took the role being the onlooker giving her signs when to make her move.

pelan projek kami

1st attempt : successful

so there u go, one karipap went into her mouth.

2nd attempt : successful

and another one went into mine

on 3rd attempt

while we were laughing our ass off on how easily we owned the makciks by our simple trick, we heard a very familiar voice

"woit si pencurikkkk!! kau buat apaaaa haa???aku bilang sama warddennya nnt. aku kenal sama muka kau yg tompok2 tu. awas kau yaa!!"


holyy shitt!! LARIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!

aku dgn ayu punye lari mmg dh xcukup tanah dh time tu. cuak gak kalau makcik tu tetibe baling senduk ke periuk ke kat kepala kitorang. kene panggil dgn warden belakang kira yg penting kene selamatkan diri dari lembu yg tgh mengamuk tu dulu ok.

tapi few days later after that incident sebenarnye xde plak ktrg kene panggil dgn warden ke ape. maybe die mls nak layan pencurik xprofessional mcm kitorang ni. stakat berjaya curi 4 karipap ape la sangat. klu jual baru dapat rm1.50. nk beli spender giant selai pon xlepas.

moral of the story:

never ever let a person with obvious identification mark(s) be your partner in crime. it was my mistake for choosing ayu with her pox-scarred face as my accomplice. next time u wanna do it, think of this fatal consequences. you surely don't wanna end up waking up on a hospital bed.


to be continued...

zaman sekolah part 1

so far what is the most unforgettable memory u all has had that even when your Alzheimer's strikes it'd fail to erase it.mine are the memories that i had during my primary school. sbb time ni org kata baru nk naik n this is the crucial time where ppl say that u are in search of your true identity, try to build your own circle of friends and whatnot.

ok, masa primary school dulu aku skolah kt skolah perempuan di jb. being in girls school was the best experience i've ever had. i can be categorized as those lunatics yg mmg susah nk duduk diam2 kat skolah follow the rules. life was so easy back then for a lower form students like me. i didnt know what love is, never bothered to struggle in exams, stayed in hostel which means far away from my overprotected daddy. so i was pretty much a person with no problems at all. and that really triggered my mind to get a little bit creative with the person who messed with this bitch. haha. so kat sini aku nk enlistkan antara enemy2 aku kt hostel yg pernah diperdajalkn oleh diri ini suatu masa dulu. ENJOY..


let us start with orang2 tua dulu ok.

1. the warden

the warden was my prime enemy because she's always the one that can never let me have my ultimate freedom bilamana aku tgh stress. i've been fried under the sun coz i always late for school, dihambat from my room sbb tido time prep yada yada yada. haha but i dun mind really coz i knw the mistakes i made were non-negotiable ones.

but then i was really mad when one fine day she rampas my soflan-washed jemuran for days just because i hung it dekat dawai2 divider asrama tu. u know peeps, duduk asrama mmg fenomena biasa bile ampai bertali penuh all the time especially time weekend. so i had no other choice except from hanging it there but then bile aku balik petang after class i saw my baju2 gantung sume dh xde. when i asked everyone, the prefects told me that cendawan* dh rampas baju bdk2 yg gantung kat dawai tu. wtf? so i knocked her door from minutes to hours but nobody answered. next day still the same xde org bkk gak. 3rd day shes still messing with me untill 4th day she gave us our clothes.

that time mmg dh agak berapi sbb baju dh abes busuk and all coz xkering n then campur dgn baju tah sape2 lagi smpi mine siap bertahi lalat. euwwwww, i geli ok u olls. dah la aku ketuk pintu ko buat pekak je. pastu ko nk kenekan denda lagi satu helai baju bayar singgit. klu spenda gn bra dapat diskaun xpela gak..so kepala time tu dh start simpan dendam kesumat nk show her la konon2 i rule this place. hahaha.

org kata darah dibalas darah, so baju dibalas baju la fo sho . fyi, cendawan selalu sidai baju2 die kat luar pintu. jadi, inilah masanyaaa.. so me with the crew pon start la bancuh air dan watercolor yg beraneka warna. pastu ktrg buat air watercolor tadi tu mcm soflan rendam kn baju die then sidai balik. sekali tgk mmg macam turun kaler pon ade. dua kali tgk korang boleh nmpk muka aku tgh buat evil smile kat atas baju die. ngahahaha.. isokay, baju ko jadi kaler lain je cendawan, xbusuk n bertahi lalat pon kan. tu sbb aku kesian sket kat kau. klu aku kejam aku dh gune sewage water je buat jadi soflan.

oo lagi satu, cendawan dan rakan2nye mmg baek hati dan bijak bistari letak kasut2 high heels dieorang kat luar. n then kawan2 aku yg bijak2 biawak ni pon buat2 lah kasut die mcm kasut keluarga angkat siap guna pakai gi outing. aku xpakai sbb jiwa rock sejati masih menebal tatkala itu. LOL . then the next monday ktrg kene sound dgn pengetua kat assembly sbb kami mmg dilarang sama sekali melawa klu keluar outing, kene pakai kasut hitam flat je. eleh takut kitorang lagi cantik dari die la tu. haha.


footnote :

kenapa cendawan? kenapa bukan keropok.



ade nmpk pape yg same x?hahaha..
ok,jgn salahkan aku, salahkn kawan aku yg bagi nama kat warden tu. aku xtaw pape. so nk mintak maap awal2, peace. hehe


oo ape jadik kat baju cendawan tu eh? nantikan sambungannya.. aku dh penat menaip.
hawhawhaw.

Read my lips : READ

i cant help to adore people who can actually finishes at least 500++ pages of any kind of books coz i know i can never finish that even in their best longest time. being a bookworm really is just not me. i took days to finish one page and am not kidding ya' all nor trying to exaggerate it. i get distracted easily especially reading something with no interesting colorful pictures and loads loads loads of history.

so when people can't keep their eyes from what they read when everybody was busy talking among themselves over their shoulder i think they really are superhuman. no im not talking about those who reads with their ears plugged by ipod, im talking bout this human species with impending extinction who seems to live in their own world when they started to read. seriously shit they still exist and i met their kind once when i was in MRSM Muar back then. no wonder he was the top scorer for our school.

i cant remember the last time when i really enjoy indulging myself with books. clearly i was not born with this laziness so u obviously cant blame my genes. i used to be so readerholic that i read almost everything that ever crossed my eyes be it labels, signboards, your name tag, and even gibberish excerpts i found in the garbage bin. sometimes i even have to close my eyes thinking that my obsession towards textual matter is inevitable. damn, never knew my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder starts that young.

i reckon my brain is just being tired and sick of all the words right now that it has started to shut down some of his faculty. besides having an attention deficit disorder i have also started to notice myself having short term amnesia and that sucks big time especially when i needed it the most since i love getting myself lost in almost all the places i went.

ok sincerely i haven't finish reading even quarter of the book i bought last two weeks. and i dunno why the fish did i buy that book when last year's book is still on my bookshelf laying helplessly untouched.

BUT, lately i kinda proud of myself coz i had successfully finish reading almost all Dan Brown's book borrowed from my friend. i dunno how that happens and i found it miraculous.


and...
and...
and...


and these are the reason why i BORROWED your book and never bought it myself dear friend. I hope i made myself clear. sumpah saya bukan kedekut.

HAHAHA

annoying stuff u'll find in reunion

dah besar2 mcm ni mmg biasa kite akan dapat invitation for reunion dengan old classmates or schoolmates lama. and salunye plan reunion tu klu xmakan masa berbulan2 memang tak sah sbb sume pon bizi . so kalo jumpe 2org je as long as ex schoolmate pon nk gak ckp mende tu reunion. ok to cut long story short aku nk list down sket perangai2 mereka yg sungguh shitness time2 reunion ni.

The smokers

i ve been a regular secondary smokers since 5 tahun lagi sbb my dad mmg core habitual smokers and dulu2 die mmg suke smoke dalam rumah smpi smua spesis aedes pupus dek hembusan rokok bapakku itu. and my brother pon dh smoke since i was 8 and that pretty much explains y i hate smokers. if u smoke sebatang dua time2 tgh lepak as well as have your senses intact by not puffing the smoke to your friend's face, then i think its tolerable especially after mkn. i totally understand that. tp klu dlm masa berborak 4 jam tu 3 minitt je aku tgk ko bukak mulut xberkuap2 dengan asap that really annoys me to death ok. and lepas tu ko xreti plak nk sembur asap rokok tu kat tmpt lain other than my face, god are u trying to be david copperfield? did u see my broad nose transformed into Jacko's after the smoke disappeared?coz i must say that aint cool at all.

last time aku lepak gn the girlfriends ade one of them mmg core smokers. last time i went to see her she was still struggling with holding the cigarette in a smoker's way and now she smokes like a tranny. lepak with me 3 jam almost habes 2 kotak and she smoked menthol, Marlboro . so i was wondering why wasting so much on menthol when a pack of Dunhill can still gives u the same stoned and deleterious effects? are you a poser?

The phone addicts

these are the types of people who eats with their phone, sleeps with their phone and have a reunion with their freaking phones. u nuts, if u want to come to a reunion and then just sit there sexting your girlfriend might as well just stay in the loo. well at least u can fap your penis out without us having to look at your horny face. whats the point of gathering anyway if u cant keep your phone off for a while. retardo!

The posers

ni adalah the major group that constitutes the annoying ppl in reunion and the most repugnant of all. they can be so expressive and subtle at times and thus a very skillful mind is required to detect them. the expressive type can be such as:


"korang nk tgk i phone 4 aku baru beli smlm kat pasar siti khadijah tak?

sambil keluarkn iphone 4 dari pocket sluar belah kiri jeans.

"serious cool weh die punye features boley track bape bnyk daun kari ade kat selonggok sayur makcik tu jual! that's tripple osem!"

this type of ppl ssh nk cari skg sbb ini mcm obvious giler ko nk brag dgn tepon baru kau. only 10-yo minded ppl je yg still practising the same lame trick.

the subtle type:

"teettt tetttt"

bunyi msg masuk. lepas reply msg die letak je phone atas meja xmasuk dlm pocket trus tunggu org tegur enpong die. then aku pon start pancing gn ayat manis

"wahh hp baru sial. iphone 4 lagi. mane lu angkat ni?kaya dow ko skg.."

si dia menjawab

" hehe biasa je bro.. aku angkat hp ni sbb BB bold aku dh rosak. aku igt nk angkat BB torch haritu tp mcm nk tukar selera la plak asek angkat BB je kite terai angkat iphone plak. "

so Einstein, can u retrieve the true meaning this fellah is trying to convey?


The westerners

these people mostly adalah those yg have had a rapid change of lifestyle. dari bertudung bawal ke mini skirt, and from loose boot cut jeans to hot pants. ever seen this kind person? what ? your bestfriend ?

i never failed to cringe everytime i had to have a reunion with this kind of people. u knew them from womb and u have seen much of them evolving themselves into an adult and suddenly when u saw this changes within 2 years span of time u cannot stop shaking your goddam head telling yourself that this is just not her.

imagine 2 years back u heard her saying that she will never sip even 0.00001% alcohol contained beverages and now in her right state of mind she's telling you that even 2 jugs of beer failed to make her drunk. she even admitted to me that she's taking weed on a daily basis now and starts taking craps on how she took it in her "bahasa rempit" that i could not fathom.

i've seen lotsa people avulse themselves from what they used to strongly hold and believed and i cant help to blame the freedom and their lousy mind to choose what's right for them. how much overboard student still retained their tudung while being away from parents? and how much of them still struggling to wear a perfect invisible angel mask everytime they come back to Malaysia? i feel sorry if you are one of them.

truly i have no issues with this kinda people if they keep it low profile. u wanna change yourself to Amy Winehouse and reserve yourself a place in a rehab centre, go ahead i wont bother. but pleaseeee stop irritates me with your stinky breath telling me either consciously or not how much i've been so conservative and obsolete for not having the same lifestyle as yours and how proud u are to be as modernized person as u have become now. will ya?

btw, not having me in your reunion group might be the best decision u've ever made in your life.

thanks,

your annoyed BFF.



p/s : last post wasn't intentional. i dunno how it became like that and im too lazy to type it all over again into a new post. wish for my healthiness so that i can repost it someday for a readable view ok. have a good day ppl.