yeah fuck that hormone

im seriously not in the mood of anything. there are times in your life when you feel so low and fucked up and u had enough with all the people around you and mine happened just now. i have friends all around yet i feel so lonely, i have boyfriend(s) virtually by my side yet i dont feel loved. i have so many things to be done but i do nothing about it. i dont wanna do anything i just want to sit and stare into the nothingness playing with my thoughts thinking about what i am going to think one after another.

this is the time when i think that im just a lifeless bitch and that i need something to feel alive again. something that tells me that i can still feel what i wanted to feel. it is this time that i'll become rambunctious as fuck and insensitive to what others feel and think about me. and surely i wont give a fuck about your social norms or any other limitations u have set for me.

dont remind me how fucked up my life is. my silence dont mean nothing. it tells u that the inside of me have been devotedly working to find a solution that will never bear an answer. u have no idea how much i ve been trying to ditch the thoughts away yet they still linger persistently at the back of my head. i got tired of acting cool about all the things being said or done. u might not know a shit but that doesnt matter coz i have always liked it that way.

i am human. we arent perfect. we were born to make mistakes and learn something from it so that we wont do it for the second time. but no, not all of us learn from the mistakes we had done, some man commit the mistakes over and over again coz they have learnt the trick on how to escape from the repercussion of his wrong doing until they get caught. and that's just me.

gawd why am i wailing like a postpartum psychic. this fucking hormone has seriously
taking its toll on me.
COULD YOU JUST GET THE FUCK OUT OF ME YOU FUCKING HORMONE?? !
now please excuse me, i need to do a little thinking again.

of exams and attendance

exam is coming in real soon, no matter how much i try not to give a fuck about it i cant help myself from being bothered because it will sort of affects my financial status if im not doing it well, at least not getting myself that F word on my result slip. having exam and not doing anything about it really makes me feel like nauseated and suffocated.

seriously i loathe exams well who doesn't. i don't think that exam should be held solely as a yardstick to assess a person's knowledge or performances. exam will not determine how good u are in your field but judgement skill does. but what's the differences? isn't a person with a string of As in their result have logical thinking too.

a person who passes their exams with flying colors does not necessarily mean she or he is competent enough to face their real world. he may have the idea but he may not know how to apply it in real life. exam is just about memorizing, mugging up what's written in your textbook. we read it today just to be forgotten the next day or if you are lucky enough the day after. studying isn't about scoring more A s or getting the highest mark in your class. studying should be driven by motivation to learn the knowledge and understanding it as it is not by the fear of failing your exam.

exam doesn't show somebody's true knowledge and performances because in certain people they have this super magical power to remember each and every word together with punctuation marks written in their textbook without even trying to understand it. they simply copied the whole text and imprint it into the frontal lobe of theirs and vomited it out on exam paper sheet. right after the exam, im pretty sure that 90% of them would stammered at the same question answered during the exam when asked .

and it is not fair to judge a person's wisdom solely by their exam result too. what if a brilliant student catches a fever the night before the exam and cant perform up to their maximum capacity because of physical hindrance? isn't that fallacious enough to assume that only straight A s students stand a great chance in ruling the world?isn't that illogical to see only high achievers are qualified of enrolling themselves into professional fields like medicine or engineering even without their interest.

in medicine, genius mind always comes second to diligence and passion. it is not the same as engineering field. here you don't need Albert Einstein's brain to become a great doctor. an average joe's will do if u have that passion and enthusiasm inside of u. but most of us think great result would makes a great doctor.that's why parents choose to send their brainy child for medicine or engineering course with delusion of these two jobs would meant sitting in a cozy room on that comfy chair waiting for the handsome paycheck every month. and i pity those parents who wants their child to take medicine course badly just to realize they have been fooled by a group of con men selling cheap medicine programme like a hotcakes at the end of the day.

the same thing goes to attendance. i don't think that an attendance system is necessary to determine whether or not a person is qualified to sit for an exam. you can lead a horse to a water but you cant force it to drink. same here, u know u can never inculcate that interest in student to learn the subject by dragging their asses to the class.

what good did it do if a student came only for the sake of attendance? other than making the lecturer irritated with these sleepy head students, you are also repressing the enthusiasm of other motivated student who came to learn by giving them an inconvenient fully-occupied lecture hall. in addition to that u are also wasting the time of the student who prefers to learn the subject by himself at home. now do u see how fucked up this system is?

so guys if u still think that exams n attendance system are good for your career health, keep on doing that untill u grow fatigue. coz in the end what matters are how u shape ur present life and how much u have equipped urself with what's necessary to face the real world. once u became a professional, people wont ask u how much As u have scored in your exam nor how much classes you've attended.

we will all hold the same degree and venture into the career we've been opting for. what differs us from each other is how fast we picked up the skill and improve ourselves for the better. and one day we'd be grateful with ourselves knowing that we can still become competent in what we are doing without having to let go the fun side of our lives. cheers.

jokes that aren't funny

women always love a man with a great sense of humor. that's an unwritten fact i picked somewhere along my way evolving myself into a mature adult woman. i myself would prefer someone funny and fun to be with rather than fucking a seriously serious dude. but BEHOLD and BEWARE guys, not all jokes are considered as funny from a girl's point of view. in addition to your failed attempt tickling her laughing center, u might also get your throat tickled by her feet. and maybe together with a bitch slap or two.

BODY

you can crack any jokes related to her deaf-inducing-laugh or turbo-like fart but trust me u cant do the same to her body figure. worst case scenario, you will get choked by her feet or maybe having her distancing herself for about a week if she's the kind of girl that never get used to merajuk lama2 la. really women are very particular about their body shape. a new fold in front or their abs can really cause a world's health problem to her. and if you are so ignorant to turn that into a joke u'll be a sorry man coz she will never get it.

"hey baby, u dh ade 2 tayar dah kat depan. klu i golekkan u kat bawah ni agak2 boleh x u guling2 macam tenggiling?"

see what i meant?

WEIGHT

weight is the most sacred number in woman's life other than their age. talking about age and body weight, woman usually prefers to keep it secret but if u happen to know these 2 numerical identities, then u must be someone that she trusted most, hence don't ever break it.

"yo ma gf is so fat the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale"

u can try to be a funny ass by cracking a yo' momma joke in front of her if u feel like u have lived enough of your life.

ACNE

normally most women will have one or two eruptions every month due to our cyclical hormonal changes. so fyi gentlemen , acne is not really a teenager's problem coz if u have noticed, pre-menopausal women also faced the same problem. and yes that includes ur momma, your gf's mommah and even the MILFs out there. i do have eruptions every now and then and i admit i hate it when i have to go for a date everytime i have huge pimple(s) on my face. it's because my pimple has a predilection for the center of my forehead and when i talked to people, i felt like they were talking to my pimple rather than to myself. oh maybe my pimple was just trying to be friendly.

anyhow, my point is never ever make a joke out of it. its the "time" of the month and if u happened to have a gf or wife with severe PMS save yourself from getting a tantrum combo. coz everytime my bf tried to be funny like

"can u please put ur headlight on a low beam mode coz i cant stand the glare"

or calling me an ultrawoman for having a full blown reddish acne on my forehead, i was like

"HAHAHA, my god u should go for RAJA LAWAK audition for your incredible sense of humor u know."

and i cant help to feel like banging his head on that steering wheel so he can have that contrecoup effect to reposition his brain.

HERSELF AS A WHOLE

we were born with different features and some woman fell into beautiful category, some in mediocre and some are so-so. but beauty lies in the eye of beholder and my definition of beauty might or might not be the same as yours. u know women felt flattered if u say things like how attractive she is, cute and all and will try as much as they can to make it not obvious to you guys, or tries to deny it sometimes just to make sure you're not trying to be a charmer. but if u say things like

" ur face looked like a moon....LOLOLOLOLOL" or

"hi si dayang senandung~...hihihi....."

like REPEATEDLY hoping that she wont take it personally, u are seriously a terrible joker. u know women still can accept it if u crack it once or twice even if it holds truth in it. but if u have said it for the umpteenth times, even the most beautiful girl would suffer from what we called as insecurity or inferiority complex especially if u are someone who means a world to her.

see guys, women have the most tender heart, no matter how butch she is or how strong she acted in front of u deep inside she still want to be treated with care, love and affection, just like any other fragile woman. it's because women can never acted tough forever. at times she needs someone that she can manja with, talked to for hours to meet her biological needs, yes the fucking hormones. keep this little advice at the back of ur head so the next time u wanna try to be like Russle brand, u have this guide with u. for the time being, go polish ur flirting skill and upgrade your lame pick-up line coz acting monkey doesn't always work all the time.

wanita cantik di sini

lately my ghey meter fluctuates real bad. it's heading to north more often than the south. i spent my time on the net mostly searching for the hot woman apart from FB, FB, and FB, yes of course i am a girl lover. if i were a man i know that i would be a great lover. LOL. alrite without further ado, lets roll at what my favorite girl looks like.

my kind of girl always represents these qualities,

1. tanned skin

because i think fair skinned women are slightly overrated. some people with white complexion doesn't always look good with a dark skin. but if a tanned skin woman manage to grab your attention at the first sight, then she will definitely look beautiful if she were white too. rarely white girl comes with a flawless skin. most of them will have so much freckles over their face and neck. that's another reason why i fancy tanned skin woman.

2. long wavy black hair

i like it black coz it will accentuate a girl's tanned look. it looks healthy too. and long wavy is definitely so much sexier than the super straight ones which gave her a more natural look.

3. fine curves

girl with a right amount of adipose tissue on the right place is always the girl of both dry and wet dreams. while skinny seems friable to hold on to.

4. beautiful teeth

coz it'll look good if paired with a lovely smile on that face. speaking of which, crooked teeth is always a major turn off for me no matter how cute your smile is.

5. pointed nose

i simply love them. might be because i don't have one. HARHAR

and here are the epitome of what i've listed earlier just now.

kim kardashian

her jugs are just amazing. so does her face.

sarah shahi

the real hottie in L word. i love her most when she's gay.LOL

eva mendes

she's just amazingly beautiful

nicole shcherzinger

cant get enough of her well-toned body

vanessa hudgens

my favourite fashion idol

hey beautiful girls, lets have a date. :)

credit : google image.

branded stuff

i was browsing through a picture tagged by a friend of mine on facebook. it was a handful collection of replica watches of which grade im not sure. if im not mistaken it was from Inda Bain Shoppe something like that. they sell designer's stuff at a rock bottom price and got a discount also, buy 2 items and they rounded it to rm100. they got Guess, Gucci, Chanel and Tag hueier included in their collection. its really a bargain though. but im not here to promote their products and i didn't earn a penny from the above statement, so u can continue reading this. also no nuffnang attached below this post.

i always had a thing for branded stuff when i was still having the teen angst back then. since we were not allowed to wear an avant garde attire in school other than a plain white and blue kurung uniform, the choices for wearing cool branded stuff to school and become the trendsetter was very limited, not to say that i was one back then coz i wasnt. so basically the bags and shoes that you wore were the first thing they used to look at as a yardstick to categorize you into different strata in school. say if you wore branded bags or shoes as in converse *yes they were very popular back then* or a fancy Roxy bag then you are one hella cool fellas. but if u were seen hitching a Swan or Bata bag here and there then you will fall into the kind of people with IQ exceeding their weight. get what i mean? no? congratulations u just became one. LOL

my parents did not practise spoil-the-child-with-lotsa-money type of parenting and earning my very own pocket money is what i did everytime i needed what i want. i did not work nor take a part time job for that but i always had to save the money given by them for the things that i want and buying branded stuff for me needs a lot more than just determination. in the end it felt good as it has taught me the real meaning of satisfaction and self actualization*wtf?* for being able to starve just to have a cool sneakers as my school shoes.

i remember having to incur around rm 200 for a leather Jack Purcell shoes that i wore for merely 2 months as i was obliged to wear a black shoes after moving to a boarding school. it was a total waste and i still have it in my shoe rack which i planned to give it to my lil bro. i also did spend so much on bags, socks and other unnecessary things which were ridiculously overpriced. i realized now that a school age girl should not spend too much or be conscious about how they look just to be like others. i admit that i was one of the victim of mass media advertorials and the product of world's materialism.

the very cause of my bankruptcy

but im glad that i had pass my teen age and learnt from that mistake. i am no longer a person who sees the brand tag as a primary reason for me to buy things neither the one who grabs branded stuff blatantly. i'd rather buy a cheap one who meets my criterion perfectly than having a designer clothing that looks ridiculous on me. and i do not need a designer dress that would costs me my 10-months allowance which i obviously wear once or twice with nobody had any idea about it. im pretty sure some will think that its not about showing it off to other people but more to your ultimate satisfaction for being able to buy and have it on your body but believe me its a total bullshit if u said u dont want other people to know that u are wearing designer's collection after spending almost 10k dollars on it coz im pretty sure even the film stars would want them to be recognized. i have seen my friend bought 400bucks dorothy perkin dress which i think i can get the same damn thing for Rm49.90 at most minus the brand tag. it was so simple and i swear it did look like a maternal wear to me. seriously not a value for money.

i've also learnt how to prioritize my money by not spending it so much on unnecessary things. i am no longer tempted to buy a gadget just because it is the in thing and everyone has it in their pocket. its practicality is what matters to me and now i am surprised to see how it has got me thinking from months to years just to buy a phone with endless list of pros and cons comparing one another i'd made. and now i have successfully become one choosy bitch.

some people really go to the extent of having a branded replica even with hideous designs just to feel good about themselves. i would rather go unnoticed if i were to have a replica stuff with me. frankly speaking, i really have prada and chanel replica handbag with me which i bought 2years back because i was so stupid to fall into their lucrative "branded stuff for sale" tagline held annually at a very convincing place. i should have known that nobody sells Prada handbag for MYR 300 except for a fake one. see i can be fooled easily when u put that "sale" signboard on. i don't wanna be like the MLM arseholes who claimed to have the latest BMW models posing next to a bunch of money scattered on their bed when they obviously have a lot of pending bills to pay. u knew it very well its a borrowed car unless u settled all the bank loan u've made.

for me if you are great in whatever you do and possess that outstanding charisma you don't need branded stuff to enhance your look of feel good about yourself. i believe that the most stylish person is always the one who managed to walk with confidence on anything they put on.


p/s: think i sounded like a person trying to write personal statements for executive job resume. did i?

women are the greatest impostor

when a friend of mine told me that he had lose hope in love because he said that all girls are liar, i was taken aback at his generalization while attempted to defend this venus species. then i realized at some point that i have nothing strong to brought into this argument and i just couldn't agree more with what he said. this is because women are indeed a greatest liar when it comes to their physical appearance.

lets start it off from the head.

1. hair

not all of us u have met so far kept our hair in their original state yes of course u knew that. some are dyed, some are being rebonded and some are getting it curled also. rarely u will find us with a perfect long super straight black silky hair. yes im talking about the mongoloids, if ur girl is a caucasian descendant please ignore this. we were blinded by the shampoo advertorials that tells us everyday girls with smooth silky super straight hair are beautiful while those with frizzy hair doesn't.

sometimes we rather opt for a better deceitful idea by wearing a wig and mind u wigs nowadays are hard to differentiate from the genuine one as some of them are made up of real human hair. now tell me are u certain enough that the woman u are currently going out with isn't bald or have a very limited strands of hair hanging precariously on her head? so guys now u know our very own secret of having a thick and flawless hair.

2. eyes

fake eyelashes are now epidemics. just go to the mall and u can see their ubiquity. wearing fake eyelashes can enhance our look exponentially. say if we have those squinty eyes, falsies cover it up almost successfully particularly those with bushy lashes. now have u ever wondered why rozita cik wan never let those falsies off her eyes? she is actually having a squinted eyes and thus had opt for a much cheaper non surgical method for a cover up. LOL

stunning eyes aren't they?

look at the eyes closely fellas

3. breasts

we know guys always had a thing for breasts and we always tried our best to make it look appealing to your pervertible eyes . but i dun feel like talking about the boob job we've been adopting as the famous breast enhancement trick here, coz we knew it's impossible for u guys to strip our shirt off and lift the breasts just to see the implant's scar to ascertain the D cup originality. you might feel that u were the lucky one for having one of us as with bust like keely hazel as ur gf but little did u know about the simple trick we had put on since your first date with us. come on, get out from that little cocoon of yourself and get to know how underwire and push-up bra works which we presume most guys did a very good homework back then. and did you know that a simple adhesive tape placed on the upper part of the breasts would give our saggy breasts a booblift? what an invention!

4. nipple

did you get sexcited easily everytime u watch a us walking with our nips erected underneath the white shirt? well before u waste that jizz on your pants we suggest u to hold it on for a sec and pat on your back if u are able to do so guys. it's because u had succesfully saved some viable sperms from jerking off to that stick-on nipple prosthesis which gave us that perky look.

cool huh?

5. abs

we didn't use makeup just for the face but also as a mean to fake a toned look of our abs. this is however wont work well on an abs with a size of lorry tyre of course. shading both the sides of our abs can give a slimmer and sexier look. *go youtube it for a proper tutorial ladies and fool the guys all you want*

6. hymen

yes u read it right guys. not only we had sex before u came into our lives, we also have an artificial hymen just to make u feel good about yourself on our first sex. aint that superhuman enough for being able to become a virgin again? if we cant be certain about ur virginity then neither do u. now that's a fair world we live in isn't it..LOL.

marry in confidence, keep your secret.

see the truth? women are really a great impostor. so ladies, next time a guy called u a liar, smile and walk graciously at his compliment coz what he really meant is you are a stunner and he's a fool for trusting u blatantly.


p/s: guys dated the right girl always end up having neurogenic shock in the morning for waking up beside the left girl.

from awful to awesome piglet

zaman sekolah part 2

continue from last post.

ok so sebenarnye i really dunno what happened to cendawan's baju. i just hope she got the message that we were all raging over her hostile attitude. i know that i looked mean enough for treating a decent looking woman like her that way but believe me back then everybody agreed with me unanimously that her attitude and appearance don't walk hand in hand. so that makes me a little less guilty for what i've done.

2. the makcik dewan selera (DS)

i dunno why i always had a bad history with them and establishing a good rapport with them makciks is undeniably my greatest failure . it goes without saying that when u have a good relationship with somebody you'll be the one who get the most benefit out of it. and i always have to be the unlucky one who will never get the excess food into my tummy since all of it will go to the prefect2 dan konco konconya yg mmg baek dgn makcik DS.

therefore in order to make my stomach a happy sac, one more time i have to be a little brainy. DS kitorang salunye mlm2 xlock just die rapatkan pintu je so the seniors had the idea of stealing the food from the DS while the makcik were soundly asleep and asked us to join them. not a great idea though sbb mlm2 there's not much food to munch except the fruits they have left outside for tomorrow's lunch, but ok la kan its better than nothing. that time klu igt balik memang dh mcm beruk2 buas pon ade since we had to climb onto the counter in order to get ourselves into the kitchen and pass the fruits among us out of it. most of the time buah yg ade just pisang and tembikai je and if we're lucky enough we'd get apples or honeydews as habuan. u are allowed to imagine yourself looking at a signboard reading "apes at work" to have a better picture on how we had it all done back then.

but siapa tahu perut xpenah kenal erti malam or siang klu nk lapar. yg die tau die senang hati mknan sentiasa ade, especially during tea time whereas most of the time a piece of pisang goreng or karipap with teh O weren't much of a help to a tummy like mine. sbb lapar punye pasal, kitorang pon terpaksa guna idea jahanam semata mata nk dapatkn extra 2 pieces of karipap or pisang goreng even under makcik DS's supervision.

so tgh2 makcik endon tu sibuk discuss pasal nk balik batam cuti sekolah akn datang, my friend si ayu pon senyap2 curi the kuih from the counter while i took the role being the onlooker giving her signs when to make her move.

pelan projek kami

1st attempt : successful

so there u go, one karipap went into her mouth.

2nd attempt : successful

and another one went into mine

on 3rd attempt

while we were laughing our ass off on how easily we owned the makciks by our simple trick, we heard a very familiar voice

"woit si pencurikkkk!! kau buat apaaaa haa???aku bilang sama warddennya nnt. aku kenal sama muka kau yg tompok2 tu. awas kau yaa!!"


holyy shitt!! LARIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!

aku dgn ayu punye lari mmg dh xcukup tanah dh time tu. cuak gak kalau makcik tu tetibe baling senduk ke periuk ke kat kepala kitorang. kene panggil dgn warden belakang kira yg penting kene selamatkan diri dari lembu yg tgh mengamuk tu dulu ok.

tapi few days later after that incident sebenarnye xde plak ktrg kene panggil dgn warden ke ape. maybe die mls nak layan pencurik xprofessional mcm kitorang ni. stakat berjaya curi 4 karipap ape la sangat. klu jual baru dapat rm1.50. nk beli spender giant selai pon xlepas.

moral of the story:

never ever let a person with obvious identification mark(s) be your partner in crime. it was my mistake for choosing ayu with her pox-scarred face as my accomplice. next time u wanna do it, think of this fatal consequences. you surely don't wanna end up waking up on a hospital bed.


to be continued...