you've just been bitch slapped! you are now officially my bitch. welcome to the B world.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

wanita cantik di sini

lately my ghey meter fluctuates real bad. it's heading to north more often than the south. i spent my time on the net mostly searching for the hot woman apart from FB, FB, and FB, yes of course i am a girl lover. if i were a man i know that i would be a great lover. LOL. alrite without further ado, lets roll at what my favorite girl looks like.

my kind of girl always represents these qualities,

1. tanned skin

because i think fair skinned women are slightly overrated. some people with white complexion doesn't always look good with a dark skin. but if a tanned skin woman manage to grab your attention at the first sight, then she will definitely look beautiful if she were white too. rarely white girl comes with a flawless skin. most of them will have so much freckles over their face and neck. that's another reason why i fancy tanned skin woman.

2. long wavy black hair

i like it black coz it will accentuate a girl's tanned look. it looks healthy too. and long wavy is definitely so much sexier than the super straight ones which gave her a more natural look.

3. fine curves

girl with a right amount of adipose tissue on the right place is always the girl of both dry and wet dreams. while skinny seems friable to hold on to.

4. beautiful teeth

coz it'll look good if paired with a lovely smile on that face. speaking of which, crooked teeth is always a major turn off for me no matter how cute your smile is.

5. pointed nose

i simply love them. might be because i don't have one. HARHAR

and here are the epitome of what i've listed earlier just now.

kim kardashian

her jugs are just amazing. so does her face.

sarah shahi

the real hottie in L word. i love her most when she's gay.LOL

eva mendes

she's just amazingly beautiful

nicole shcherzinger

cant get enough of her well-toned body

vanessa hudgens

my favourite fashion idol

hey beautiful girls, lets have a date. :)

credit : google image.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

branded stuff

i was browsing through a picture tagged by a friend of mine on facebook. it was a handful collection of replica watches of which grade im not sure. if im not mistaken it was from Inda Bain Shoppe something like that. they sell designer's stuff at a rock bottom price and got a discount also, buy 2 items and they rounded it to rm100. they got Guess, Gucci, Chanel and Tag hueier included in their collection. its really a bargain though. but im not here to promote their products and i didn't earn a penny from the above statement, so u can continue reading this. also no nuffnang attached below this post.

i always had a thing for branded stuff when i was still having the teen angst back then. since we were not allowed to wear an avant garde attire in school other than a plain white and blue kurung uniform, the choices for wearing cool branded stuff to school and become the trendsetter was very limited, not to say that i was one back then coz i wasnt. so basically the bags and shoes that you wore were the first thing they used to look at as a yardstick to categorize you into different strata in school. say if you wore branded bags or shoes as in converse *yes they were very popular back then* or a fancy Roxy bag then you are one hella cool fellas. but if u were seen hitching a Swan or Bata bag here and there then you will fall into the kind of people with IQ exceeding their weight. get what i mean? no? congratulations u just became one. LOL

my parents did not practise spoil-the-child-with-lotsa-money type of parenting and earning my very own pocket money is what i did everytime i needed what i want. i did not work nor take a part time job for that but i always had to save the money given by them for the things that i want and buying branded stuff for me needs a lot more than just determination. in the end it felt good as it has taught me the real meaning of satisfaction and self actualization*wtf?* for being able to starve just to have a cool sneakers as my school shoes.

i remember having to incur around rm 200 for a leather Jack Purcell shoes that i wore for merely 2 months as i was obliged to wear a black shoes after moving to a boarding school. it was a total waste and i still have it in my shoe rack which i planned to give it to my lil bro. i also did spend so much on bags, socks and other unnecessary things which were ridiculously overpriced. i realized now that a school age girl should not spend too much or be conscious about how they look just to be like others. i admit that i was one of the victim of mass media advertorials and the product of world's materialism.

the very cause of my bankruptcy

but im glad that i had pass my teen age and learnt from that mistake. i am no longer a person who sees the brand tag as a primary reason for me to buy things neither the one who grabs branded stuff blatantly. i'd rather buy a cheap one who meets my criterion perfectly than having a designer clothing that looks ridiculous on me. and i do not need a designer dress that would costs me my 10-months allowance which i obviously wear once or twice with nobody had any idea about it. im pretty sure some will think that its not about showing it off to other people but more to your ultimate satisfaction for being able to buy and have it on your body but believe me its a total bullshit if u said u dont want other people to know that u are wearing designer's collection after spending almost 10k dollars on it coz im pretty sure even the film stars would want them to be recognized. i have seen my friend bought 400bucks dorothy perkin dress which i think i can get the same damn thing for Rm49.90 at most minus the brand tag. it was so simple and i swear it did look like a maternal wear to me. seriously not a value for money.

i've also learnt how to prioritize my money by not spending it so much on unnecessary things. i am no longer tempted to buy a gadget just because it is the in thing and everyone has it in their pocket. its practicality is what matters to me and now i am surprised to see how it has got me thinking from months to years just to buy a phone with endless list of pros and cons comparing one another i'd made. and now i have successfully become one choosy bitch.

some people really go to the extent of having a branded replica even with hideous designs just to feel good about themselves. i would rather go unnoticed if i were to have a replica stuff with me. frankly speaking, i really have prada and chanel replica handbag with me which i bought 2years back because i was so stupid to fall into their lucrative "branded stuff for sale" tagline held annually at a very convincing place. i should have known that nobody sells Prada handbag for MYR 300 except for a fake one. see i can be fooled easily when u put that "sale" signboard on. i don't wanna be like the MLM arseholes who claimed to have the latest BMW models posing next to a bunch of money scattered on their bed when they obviously have a lot of pending bills to pay. u knew it very well its a borrowed car unless u settled all the bank loan u've made.

for me if you are great in whatever you do and possess that outstanding charisma you don't need branded stuff to enhance your look of feel good about yourself. i believe that the most stylish person is always the one who managed to walk with confidence on anything they put on.

p/s: think i sounded like a person trying to write personal statements for executive job resume. did i?

Thursday, December 16, 2010

women are the greatest impostor

when a friend of mine told me that he had lose hope in love because he said that all girls are liar, i was taken aback at his generalization while attempted to defend this venus species. then i realized at some point that i have nothing strong to brought into this argument and i just couldn't agree more with what he said. this is because women are indeed a greatest liar when it comes to their physical appearance.

lets start it off from the head.

1. hair

not all of us u have met so far kept our hair in their original state yes of course u knew that. some are dyed, some are being rebonded and some are getting it curled also. rarely u will find us with a perfect long super straight black silky hair. yes im talking about the mongoloids, if ur girl is a caucasian descendant please ignore this. we were blinded by the shampoo advertorials that tells us everyday girls with smooth silky super straight hair are beautiful while those with frizzy hair doesn't.

sometimes we rather opt for a better deceitful idea by wearing a wig and mind u wigs nowadays are hard to differentiate from the genuine one as some of them are made up of real human hair. now tell me are u certain enough that the woman u are currently going out with isn't bald or have a very limited strands of hair hanging precariously on her head? so guys now u know our very own secret of having a thick and flawless hair.

2. eyes

fake eyelashes are now epidemics. just go to the mall and u can see their ubiquity. wearing fake eyelashes can enhance our look exponentially. say if we have those squinty eyes, falsies cover it up almost successfully particularly those with bushy lashes. now have u ever wondered why rozita cik wan never let those falsies off her eyes? she is actually having a squinted eyes and thus had opt for a much cheaper non surgical method for a cover up. LOL

stunning eyes aren't they?

look at the eyes closely fellas

3. breasts

we know guys always had a thing for breasts and we always tried our best to make it look appealing to your pervertible eyes . but i dun feel like talking about the boob job we've been adopting as the famous breast enhancement trick here, coz we knew it's impossible for u guys to strip our shirt off and lift the breasts just to see the implant's scar to ascertain the D cup originality. you might feel that u were the lucky one for having one of us as with bust like keely hazel as ur gf but little did u know about the simple trick we had put on since your first date with us. come on, get out from that little cocoon of yourself and get to know how underwire and push-up bra works which we presume most guys did a very good homework back then. and did you know that a simple adhesive tape placed on the upper part of the breasts would give our saggy breasts a booblift? what an invention!

4. nipple

did you get sexcited easily everytime u watch a us walking with our nips erected underneath the white shirt? well before u waste that jizz on your pants we suggest u to hold it on for a sec and pat on your back if u are able to do so guys. it's because u had succesfully saved some viable sperms from jerking off to that stick-on nipple prosthesis which gave us that perky look.

cool huh?

5. abs

we didn't use makeup just for the face but also as a mean to fake a toned look of our abs. this is however wont work well on an abs with a size of lorry tyre of course. shading both the sides of our abs can give a slimmer and sexier look. *go youtube it for a proper tutorial ladies and fool the guys all you want*

6. hymen

yes u read it right guys. not only we had sex before u came into our lives, we also have an artificial hymen just to make u feel good about yourself on our first sex. aint that superhuman enough for being able to become a virgin again? if we cant be certain about ur virginity then neither do u. now that's a fair world we live in isn't it..LOL.

marry in confidence, keep your secret.

see the truth? women are really a great impostor. so ladies, next time a guy called u a liar, smile and walk graciously at his compliment coz what he really meant is you are a stunner and he's a fool for trusting u blatantly.

p/s: guys dated the right girl always end up having neurogenic shock in the morning for waking up beside the left girl.

from awful to awesome piglet
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