you've just been bitch slapped! you are now officially my bitch. welcome to the B world.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

of exams and attendance

exam is coming in real soon, no matter how much i try not to give a fuck about it i cant help myself from being bothered because it will sort of affects my financial status if im not doing it well, at least not getting myself that F word on my result slip. having exam and not doing anything about it really makes me feel like nauseated and suffocated.

seriously i loathe exams well who doesn't. i don't think that exam should be held solely as a yardstick to assess a person's knowledge or performances. exam will not determine how good u are in your field but judgement skill does. but what's the differences? isn't a person with a string of As in their result have logical thinking too.

a person who passes their exams with flying colors does not necessarily mean she or he is competent enough to face their real world. he may have the idea but he may not know how to apply it in real life. exam is just about memorizing, mugging up what's written in your textbook. we read it today just to be forgotten the next day or if you are lucky enough the day after. studying isn't about scoring more A s or getting the highest mark in your class. studying should be driven by motivation to learn the knowledge and understanding it as it is not by the fear of failing your exam.

exam doesn't show somebody's true knowledge and performances because in certain people they have this super magical power to remember each and every word together with punctuation marks written in their textbook without even trying to understand it. they simply copied the whole text and imprint it into the frontal lobe of theirs and vomited it out on exam paper sheet. right after the exam, im pretty sure that 90% of them would stammered at the same question answered during the exam when asked .

and it is not fair to judge a person's wisdom solely by their exam result too. what if a brilliant student catches a fever the night before the exam and cant perform up to their maximum capacity because of physical hindrance? isn't that fallacious enough to assume that only straight A s students stand a great chance in ruling the world?isn't that illogical to see only high achievers are qualified of enrolling themselves into professional fields like medicine or engineering even without their interest.

in medicine, genius mind always comes second to diligence and passion. it is not the same as engineering field. here you don't need Albert Einstein's brain to become a great doctor. an average joe's will do if u have that passion and enthusiasm inside of u. but most of us think great result would makes a great doctor.that's why parents choose to send their brainy child for medicine or engineering course with delusion of these two jobs would meant sitting in a cozy room on that comfy chair waiting for the handsome paycheck every month. and i pity those parents who wants their child to take medicine course badly just to realize they have been fooled by a group of con men selling cheap medicine programme like a hotcakes at the end of the day.

the same thing goes to attendance. i don't think that an attendance system is necessary to determine whether or not a person is qualified to sit for an exam. you can lead a horse to a water but you cant force it to drink. same here, u know u can never inculcate that interest in student to learn the subject by dragging their asses to the class.

what good did it do if a student came only for the sake of attendance? other than making the lecturer irritated with these sleepy head students, you are also repressing the enthusiasm of other motivated student who came to learn by giving them an inconvenient fully-occupied lecture hall. in addition to that u are also wasting the time of the student who prefers to learn the subject by himself at home. now do u see how fucked up this system is?

so guys if u still think that exams n attendance system are good for your career health, keep on doing that untill u grow fatigue. coz in the end what matters are how u shape ur present life and how much u have equipped urself with what's necessary to face the real world. once u became a professional, people wont ask u how much As u have scored in your exam nor how much classes you've attended.

we will all hold the same degree and venture into the career we've been opting for. what differs us from each other is how fast we picked up the skill and improve ourselves for the better. and one day we'd be grateful with ourselves knowing that we can still become competent in what we are doing without having to let go the fun side of our lives. cheers.


Friday, January 21, 2011

jokes that aren't funny

women always love a man with a great sense of humor. that's an unwritten fact i picked somewhere along my way evolving myself into a mature adult woman. i myself would prefer someone funny and fun to be with rather than fucking a seriously serious dude. but BEHOLD and BEWARE guys, not all jokes are considered as funny from a girl's point of view. in addition to your failed attempt tickling her laughing center, u might also get your throat tickled by her feet. and maybe together with a bitch slap or two.

BODY

you can crack any jokes related to her deaf-inducing-laugh or turbo-like fart but trust me u cant do the same to her body figure. worst case scenario, you will get choked by her feet or maybe having her distancing herself for about a week if she's the kind of girl that never get used to merajuk lama2 la. really women are very particular about their body shape. a new fold in front or their abs can really cause a world's health problem to her. and if you are so ignorant to turn that into a joke u'll be a sorry man coz she will never get it.

"hey baby, u dh ade 2 tayar dah kat depan. klu i golekkan u kat bawah ni agak2 boleh x u guling2 macam tenggiling?"

see what i meant?

WEIGHT


weight is the most sacred number in woman's life other than their age. talking about age and body weight, woman usually prefers to keep it secret but if u happen to know these 2 numerical identities, then u must be someone that she trusted most, hence don't ever break it.

"yo ma gf is so fat the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale"

u can try to be a funny ass by cracking a yo' momma joke in front of her if u feel like u have lived enough of your life.

ACNE

normally most women will have one or two eruptions every month due to our cyclical hormonal changes. so fyi gentlemen , acne is not really a teenager's problem coz if u have noticed, pre-menopausal women also faced the same problem. and yes that includes ur momma, your gf's mommah and even the MILFs out there. i do have eruptions every now and then and i admit i hate it when i have to go for a date everytime i have huge pimple(s) on my face. it's because my pimple has a predilection for the center of my forehead and when i talked to people, i felt like they were talking to my pimple rather than to myself. oh maybe my pimple was just trying to be friendly.

anyhow, my point is never ever make a joke out of it. its the "time" of the month and if u happened to have a gf or wife with severe PMS save yourself from getting a tantrum combo. coz everytime my bf tried to be funny like

"can u please put ur headlight on a low beam mode coz i cant stand the glare"

or calling me an ultrawoman for having a full blown reddish acne on my forehead, i was like

"HAHAHA, my god u should go for RAJA LAWAK audition for your incredible sense of humor u know."

and i cant help to feel like banging his head on that steering wheel so he can have that contrecoup effect to reposition his brain.

HERSELF AS A WHOLE

we were born with different features and some woman fell into beautiful category, some in mediocre and some are so-so. but beauty lies in the eye of beholder and my definition of beauty might or might not be the same as yours. u know women felt flattered if u say things like how attractive she is, cute and all and will try as much as they can to make it not obvious to you guys, or tries to deny it sometimes just to make sure you're not trying to be a charmer. but if u say things like

" ur face looked like a moon....LOLOLOLOLOL" or

"hi si dayang senandung~...hihihi....."

like REPEATEDLY hoping that she wont take it personally, u are seriously a terrible joker. u know women still can accept it if u crack it once or twice even if it holds truth in it. but if u have said it for the umpteenth times, even the most beautiful girl would suffer from what we called as insecurity or inferiority complex especially if u are someone who means a world to her.

see guys, women have the most tender heart, no matter how butch she is or how strong she acted in front of u deep inside she still want to be treated with care, love and affection, just like any other fragile woman. it's because women can never acted tough forever. at times she needs someone that she can manja with, talked to for hours to meet her biological needs, yes the fucking hormones. keep this little advice at the back of ur head so the next time u wanna try to be like Russle brand, u have this guide with u. for the time being, go polish ur flirting skill and upgrade your lame pick-up line coz acting monkey doesn't always work all the time.
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