ways to be a politically correct asshole.

as u know kite org melayu ni penuh dengan tatatertib ketimuran kan. membesar dgn pantang larang gn adat sume teaches us how to respect the elders and love the younger. tipulah klu korang xde yg amalkan tatacara hidup sopan kan. *kejadah la tatacara* klu ko xsopan pon in real life at least mesti la buat2 sopan bile balik kampung kan. at least klu lalu depan org tua tu mesti la mcm nk "ehem2, tumpang lalu ye mokcikkk..." then tunduk siket tanda hormat ye dak? org tua2 kata reason kite kene tunduk time jalan tu cz xnk kite langgar batang idong dorang camtu. aku pon tataw mane logiknye kite boleh terlanggar hidung dorang tu. salu aku jalan pon muat lagi nk letak lemari kt space antara aku gn idung die tu, lainlah klu idung die mancung mcam pinocchio. xpon ko saje jalan rapat gile sampaikan terpijak lutut die pastu terlanggar batang hidung die plak. mcm impossible. tapi..wallahualambissawab.

tapi taktaw la klu ade yg family korang yang jenis xkisah pon sume adat2 ni. like u can simply say "hey bapak, aku benci kau" to ur father bile bapak kau taknak belikan kau ps2 and get away with it coz ur father would just say like "oh anakku, daku mntk maaf. " kira ni stok2 omputeh la ni parents salah siket je die dah dok "damnn.. i hate u dad!!!" pastu keluar rumah hentak pintu kuat2 pegi mall dgn geng2 emo die pierce bibir, dagu dgn kening segala nk tunjuk ko rebel kat bapak kau sbb xdapat ps2 punye pasal. lantak ko lah nak.

so sbb tu la org melayu punye sopan ni kdg2 die punye ckp ni lagi lembut lagi lidah. like when u wanna say something offensive u wont say it directly, ko ckp lapik punye lapik punye lapik so that org tu xterasa dgn ape yg ko ckp but at the same time die dpt msg utama yg ko nk sampaikan tu. itulah yg dinamakan sindiran. so in this topic i'd like to guide you on how to be a politically correct assholes. so die mcm buat org yg ko sindir tu serba salah nk maki kau ke nk rasa malu dgn diri sndiri. mcm " hahahaha...yekee." cis. sialpalis benar mulut anda..getus beliau dlm hati kecilnye . but pls do this dekat org2 yg lebih kurang umur dgn kite je ye sbb klu ko buat kt org yg lebih tua aku xjamin die segan dgn diri sndiri. malahan die xsegan silu nk bg penampor kat pipi kau.

1. Si housemate pemalas yang xghoti buat keje rumah

kau ade hosmet jenis pemalas basuh pinggan, yang main letak je sume dalam singki buat2 xtaw beza tu sinki ke dishwasher, ko dtg sbelah die buat2 ala bizi mesra kat dapor borak gn die. then ko ckp kat die.

"awak ni jarang2 basuh pnggan, mesti kulit tgn awak lembut je kan. untung lah..pasti suami sayang."

then buat muka ala2 sedih konon2 die adalah manusia paling beruntung dikurniakan kulit tgn selembut sutera. and kau sgt malang dapat kulit tgn kasar sbb dok jd maid basuh pinggan die je hari2.

2. Si pengguna yg rajin buat barang orang jadi hakmilik terpelihara die.

time die bersiap2 nk keluar pakai baju yg ko macam kenal penah jadi hakmilik kau, kau cepat2 keluar bilik buat2 tgh tengok die bersiap beserta muka penuh admiration sambil cakap

"baju saya ni mmg sesuai betul dgn badan n warna kulit awak, patut la awk suke sgt pakai"

sambil betul2 kan baju die tanda kekaguman kau pada kecantikan die yg tak terhingga.

3. Si penghutang2 yg liat bayar

kau pegi kedai makan ke mane2 kedai dgn die. then time nk gi kaunter nk bayar tu kau buat2 gelabah tetek raba2 poket seluar cari wallet ke purse ko. bile si die tanya ko cakap.

"kau ade duit x? aku nk pinjam jap. nk tlg bayar hutang kau kat aku tahun lepas."

pastu sengihlah ala2 kerang busuk tanda ko sedar yg ko telah berhasil buat lawak yg gagal menggelikan hati nurani beliau.

sengihan penuh bermakna

4. Si pengecek tegar.

ni jenis org yg pantang ko pegang makanan without fail die akn dtg mntk makanan ko. xdpt sesuap secubit poon jadik. pekata next time die dtg nk mntk mknn, ko keluarkan sume stok makanan yg ko ade. make sure smpi melimpah2 makann ko kuakan tu then ko pelawa die makan,.

"jemput2 makan lagi. tambah2 jgn lupe baca bismillah. bukan sng nk dapat rezeki lari2 bergolek kat kau camni. syukur alhamdulillah...."

sambil tadah tangan ke atas tanda bersyukur. klu die xpaham bahasa, ko tlg tapaukan sume mknan dlm beg die smpai almari mknn ko kosong then ko bgtahu la ...

" nasib ade kau. klu x mmg xtahu mane nk 'buang' mknn aku bnyk2 yg mak aku ssh2 pos dari jauh ni"

so, if any of these failed nak sedarkan die, then u have every right to sound die direct. org macam ni mmg xmakan saman. kau kene bagi die berdas2 baru die sedar diri. so, selamat mencuba.

p/s: aku xjamin persahabatan korang kekal ke akhir hayat dah pasni. pandai2 korang lah nk idop klu kawan korang tu tglkn ko.

you don't need a perfect body to be sexy

"There's nothing sexier than a woman who's comfortable in her own skin and happy with herself" - James Deen.

u must have been wondering who the fook is james deen. he is one of the most reliable person to comment on women's beauty whatnot. because so far he has been with 6000 individual tities and 3000 vaginas. no he is not an Obstetrician nor Gynaecologist. not even close to. he is just a star. not the regular star, but a PORNstar.

well i stumbled upon this article 'James Deen on what makes women good in bed' on one of the news i followed on twitter. he became a pornstar when he was 18. n it was his ambition to become a pornstar since he was in primary school. no it's not his biography that is any of my concern here, i just want to highlight the things he said in an interview that i hope will help some women out there who's suffering from inferiority complex disorder.

women are naturally concern with their bodies and how they look. some believe that being skinny is the exact definition of sexiness while some prefer to have extra kgs on their body. but little did women realize that none of them matters as long as they are comfortable with how their body looks which is quite a myth. a 'sane' woman will never ever feel comfortable with her body. that's why plastic surgeons are making quite a good money nowadays. and that explains why some women have gone extra miles taking risks just to be beautiful. well if u haven't heard a woman was being injected cement into her buttock by a fake doctor, google might be of a little help here.

being beautiful is not all about how u look on the outside, it's more like how u carry yourself in front of others. because if u're not happy with your body then how do you expect others to accept your body? the greatest style a woman can wear is confident yada yada yada. we've heard it so many times but very few of us are actually doing it. because most of the time, we feel so insecure about ourselves that we are unable to see things beyond that. we keep lamenting on our less appealing features instead of flaunting those best features endowed. to me, this type of person will never manage to pull it off even if they already have 99% perfection in them.

there's more to life than the external beauty. trust me, woman will never go under the knives if they have their loved ones who are happy with the way they look. who have never once tried to change anything on the girl's body. i've seen some average-looking women who are so confident with their extra bumps just because they have a very loving and supportive significant other, who never fails to make their woman feels beautiful just by appreciating them in their lives. and telling them how pretty they'll look with just anything. so to the women out there, if u are still unhappy with ur body, i'm sorry to say that u are actually yet to discover your mr right. if he really loves u, he'll never want to change what's already yours, he's in love with you no matter how awful u look *especially on waking up*, and he'll still see u the same even without ur make up on. well if not, that's okay. at the moment, u can have fun with your 'mr right now'. to guys, love ur woman not because of her external beauty. cz no matter how beautiful u think she was when u first met, the feeling will never be the same when u two live together.

here's the link. read more if u want to know what he said. but do have a little imagination while reading for better understanding. LOL

http://www.thefrisky.com/2010-06-14/porn-star-james-deen-on-what-makes-a-woman-good-in-bed/