you've just been bitch slapped! you are now officially my bitch. welcome to the B world.

Friday, October 29, 2010

i missed hating him

sorry for the long silence. i was really in no mood to update anything plus i ran out of idea on what to blog lately and therefore being in hiatus is the best option i suppose.

big bro is getting married soon. he's going to be somebody's husband and later someone's dad. and im still the single mingle fair and lovely lady. haha

i remember saying "ko lelaki jahanammm!! sape kawen gn ko mmg perempuan bodohhhh!!bodohh nk mamposs!!" to him when i was 10. i hate him so much that i regretted being born as a sibling to him. but now he's finally getting married, and i see that stupid woman almost on a daily basis now. HAHA. if he is still the same person like he was to me back then i would be more than glad to be the thorn between the two of them now.

yes i was that rude to my brother because i think he deserved it. i never called him abang when i was child and i hate having to call him so everytime my aunt was around coz she kept nagging me on how disrespectful i was to him. but he nevertheless the closest that i have in my family and i missed having him around when he was not there.

i would say that brother was no different than a beast. he used to drag me from hall to kitchen back to gall again simply by pulling my hair. he also had officially made me his life size punching bag and i used to get a hiccup from that after i got one on my back. but he didn't give a damn shit though i screamed like a hysteric woman back then. we fought like we were in the middle of world war II and whenever we fought the neighbors always had to make an unscheduled visits to our house just to make sure that nobody's rib is broken everytime our parents were away.

the eldest is always the mischievous. that was what i heard from few people and it holds good for him. he was a lot rebellious as compared to me. and so that explains why he always be the target for experimenting the durability of mummy's new hanger, belt, host pipe or anything that ever crossed my dad's mind.

when he planned for running away from home, i was the one who cried the most and plead him to stay as if that i was about to lose him forever when i clearly knew that he himself didn't even know how to use the public transport let alone sufficient money to do so. i remember seeing him drawing the map for his escape behind our old cupboard which was readily accessible and visible to my parents. that might be the smartest move an 8-year old boy could think of and i swear that his plan of escape was no further than 313 meters away from our house. but i was 6 and it touched me anyway when he started to seriously packed his clothes and belongings ready to depart. he even made me swear not to tell mom and dad of his whereabouts oblivious to the map he forget to rub *or intended to leave so that his parents won't take longer time to find their starved son* behind the cupboard.

after a moment of sobbing and saying goodbye to each other he left me dumbfounded wondering when will we ever meet again. i even think of going for jejak kasih in tv3 that time for our later reunion but to my amazement, he returned after 15 minutes saying that he needed to pee and the runaway plan was forgotten ever since. i was happy but i managed to throw a tantrum at the same time to him for wasting gallons of my tears.

mummy always said that bulan ramadhan tu bulan mulia coz syaitan2 sume kene ikat so that there is no distraction for us utk beribadah. but i didn't need syaiton or any kind of jin to make me break my fast in the middle of day. a brother like mine will do. coz everytime when he cooked maggie or something, he always made it for two. that was a very diplomatic way of keeping my mouth shut. and i hate him for his effortless attempt to lure me into this temptation.

abang was also a FAIL problem solver. i remember us having shortage of undies due to rainy season and he confidently proposed the most stupid idea that even Einstein's donkey fail to think of as a solution and sounds even stupider when her sister conformed to his lame idea.

and this was what he suggested.

cut it accordingly to the dotted lines drawn.

andd.... voila! it's ready to wear!

yes u are right ladies, that's an F-ing plastic bag. simple and water proof. we have leggings and even jeggings in store nowadays. but now we also have "undieng" ready in stock. undieng works best during hot season paired with malfunctioned fan or air conditioner and also during vigorous exercise. we also have an offer "buy one pack and get 10 scabies free". now u can also get the world's attention to your groin effortlessly while strolling on the beach.
however it doesn't come with a rubber strap up there so u might have to tie it around your waist manually. LOL

well that was a brilliant idea indeed invented by my brother. but why the hell his sister wore it anyways? isn't she a genius too?

p/s : i am officially declaring u a superhuman for being able to read this post to this extent. LOL


  1. oh my oh my.

    your brother really does have a good head on those shoulders, doesnt he?

    i LOLed hard at the running away from home story, whats with the map and everything.



  2. yes he does. a failed one. LOL



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